Lesson 3 - Vulnerability

But aren’t we always performing throughout our lives? Isn’t it normal to want people to like us?

Yes, but the problem arises when we try to control the other person’s impression. Obviously we all
want to present ourselves well and communicate well.
But as soon as you try to control what another person thinks, you are broadcasting a feeling of
inferiority.

Vulnerability can be:

Behavioral (approaching, going for the kiss)
Verbal (sharing thoughts or feelings)
Emotional (expressing pleasure or pain)

Vulnerability requires one to communicate with authenticity — that means communicating your
thoughts, feelings and desires with no conditions, with no expectations.

Vulnerability closes the inferiority gap.

It implies equal status with the woman.
It resolves your internal shame.
It helps you permanently overcome anxiet.
It builds intimacy and connection.
It builds sexual tension because it is bold and unpredictable.

The reason most people don’t practice vulnerability is because it’s hard. It forces you to confront
fears, insecurities, shame, overcome anxiety, and risk rejection.

But ultimately, practicing vulnerability in your everyday life is the ticket to improving all of your
relationships.

Research shows that vulnerability builds self esteem and builds trust with others. These are the two
ingredients of successful sexual relationships.
Exercise

Name three ways in which you can practice vulnerability in your life. Go out and do one of them.
Write about what happens.
1 Approach and tell a girl that I would like to know something more about her.
(ask her to tell something special or unique about her)
2 Call out bullshit on some of my coworkers.
3.Doing something which I am not good at, even though there is the fear of looking silly at the back
of my mind.