Susan Ashdown - Behind This Smile

Behind this smile is a host of mixed emotions.
Like a scared rabbit I want to stand stock-still
In the stare of headlight-eyes.

Their interrogating concern
Prompts my reply in cautious terms.
“A little up-hill, one day at a time...how are you? ”

And a brief breathing spell,
Whilst I try to take in
News I’ll certainly forget.

Racing for refuge, making for home,
Ever conscious of quizzing stares.
“Do I have the right shoes on
is my hair a mess
what’s my face doing
is it giving the game away? ”

Behind my solitude-safe door I pant.
Gulping in calming-quiet-air.
I did better last time.

Caffeine stillness takes me over,
And my trembling voice demands,
“Smile, it suits you! ”

Susan Ashdown

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/behind-this-smile/