Silent Speaker - The Translucent Me

I'd rather cry
than let you see my tears
I'd rather die
than be buried six feet under

I want to be let go
but i need held down
I want to see light
but i'd rather be in darkness

I want to be fixed
but I'd rather stay broken
I want to be found
but i'd rather hide

The clock ticks
but time doesn't pass
and all my hurt has turned into,
a giant mass,
called me,
in this world,
that will never be....
completely,
sane.
so just let the thunder,
along with the rain,
keep coming down,
so clearly I can't see
what has now become
The Transulcent Me

Silent Speaker

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-translucent-me/