Scarlet ..... - A Craving - Giving In

why don’t I just give in
into this craving now
for I know I will give in
so why not now
save me from days of worrying
days of eating myself alive
trying to decide
when I already now I will do it
I just don’t care anymore
let them notice me
for once in my life
so what if they freak
its better than no reach
I guess
at least I might be noticed
who am I kidding
they will not notice
an outsider will notice
start asking questions
then they will be forced to notice
notice me
but the question is
will they care
I already know they won’t
even if they notice me
notice what I will have done
done to myself
it won’t matter
because they won't care
not about me
or what I have done
done to myself
maybe they will realize
if they would have noticed me before
instead of ignoring me
I might not have had this craving
or I might have had the strength to fight it
yeah right
they will deny it
all of it
they will say the outsider lies
and never even look my way
so why did I even worry about this
for that one in a hundred chance they will notice
and might actually care
do I worry about what the outsider thinks
yes I do
but why
they do not know me
they may think they do
but the truth is no one knows me
not even me
maybe after this
after I give in
I will find myself
for maybe this is me

Scarlet .....

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-craving-giving-in/