31. Influence

The Lines
Bottom. [6] At the very beginning of relationships, the interplay of influence is hardly noticed.
The parties are acquainted with one another, the possibilities of a deeper relationship
are present, but whether the relationship will develop or not remains to be seen -- it may, or
it may not. But as long as everything is in an incipient stage, no judgment can be made
upon it. At this point, neither party is harmed or helped, whether the relationship goes forward
or does not.
2. [6] At a later stage of an acquaintance, there is the bare beginning of a flow of influence,
but it is not subject to the man's control. Whether the relationship proceeds or not requires
the actions of others, and this is not a good way to begin. If this is allowed to proceed, the
man will be subject to the whim of others, and the outcome will not go well. It is better for
the man to wait until circumstances place him in a position where his actions will initiate
and control the relationship. Then he will be in a position to properly exert his influence
himself, and his ability to control the way it proceeds will mean that it will go well for him.
3. [9] The formation of a relationship has an emotional component, and this easily becomes
the directing force. But if this is allowed to happen -- if whim or infatuation is allowed to
lead the man into an involvement with another -- it will result in humiliation. Just because a
possibility of a relationship of mutual influence exists doesn't mean that it is advisable; the
man must restrain himself and act in accordance with his own reason. Just because another
person with whom the man has a relationship wishes the man to do something is not sufficient
reason alone; the man must exercise wise choices and not grant every request automatically.
Just because the man is involved in a relationship with another does not mean
that he should ignore his own intuition when it is contrary to the influence of that other; his
independent judgment is the foundation of his individual freedom.
4. [9] When a man speaks from his heart, he has great influence on his followers, for they
recognize the genuineness of his expression, it has a deep impression upon them, and it
reaches into their deepest sensibilities. It is incumbent upon the man, therefore, that he keep
his heart pure, and if he does so, he will have no regrets. His influence will be great, and the
beneficial effects upon his followers will be extensive. When the man acts from the depths
of his own being, when his motives are for the benefit of others and not self-centered, when
he is conscious of those others and does not attempt to use them for his own ends, he will
make no mistakes, and his followers will know intuitively that he can be trusted.

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