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Topic : Marriage Troubles, Workaholism, and the Overbearing Father
Topic Detail: I have been having trouble with my marriage of a little over 7 years. My wife has repeatedly indicated that I am not committed to our family, we have no connection or intimacy, I don't offer her any criticisms (positive or negative), and I avoid difficult conversations about our relationship. For example, I have put off scheduling this call-in for months now. I find it difficult to express my own preferences and assert myself in many situations, and tend to acquiesce. I also find myself constantly creating excuses for and defending my aggressive overbearing father, who has had more interest in seeing me help his business succeed than the success of my relationship with my wife. The only real interest he has shown in our family since we married is wanting to spend time with our 2 children. He has been a point of contention against our marriage for a several years now, indoctrinating me with a "do anything you can to get the job done" and "work is the ultimate way to support your family" mindset. I have had problems being a workaholic for him, frittering away my precious time with my wife and children. I changed jobs and have since put myself on a 9-5 schedule that ensures I get consistent time with my wife and children, but it seems the thing that I can't get away from is apologizing for, making excuses for, and defending my father's bad behavior and persistent aggression toward my wife, trying to intimidate her to see our children. I keep bringing him into our marriage.
I fear the loss of the amazing woman I call my wife. The one person I know who wants me to be successful and to shed the dead weight of my upbringing. What can I do to build connection with my wife, restore intimacy, and show unwavering support and loyalty to my wife and children? How can I address my clinging to my father, a man who has ignored my preferences and opinions for as long as I can remember?
Sorry if this message runs on. I felt it more important to get sent than to worry about readability.

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