VICTORIA GEORGE - My Real E-Bay Name

My real name’s Hermione Twatt
On my life it has put a real blot
That’s why, I must say
I came onto eBay
And changed my name like a shot

I wanted to be Jasmine le Bon
But that one had already gone
I then chose Sharmaine
(I just liked the name)
But I decided on Alyssa Freefone

I thought I was on very safe ground
With a name with such a odd sound
But yes, some old bag
Had chosen that tag
Another name had to be found

I thought of Nicolette Plum
But it sounded like nicotine gum
Then for a game
I typed in this name
ethelweaser-mussolini-bigg-bum

I couldn’t believe my red eyes
I really had a surprise
It came up “we’re sorry
But please not to worry
Here’s a similar one “big-fat-thighs”

copyright Victoria George

VICTORIA GEORGE

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-real-e-bay-name/