Tofur Damico - Deserve

I feel the pain,
the sorrow,
the sadness,
all around me.
It grows
and overcomes me
after I get the memories
back again;
the one's I've tried so hard
to keep out.
Why don't they stop?
Now I feel the hate,
the anger she gives me.
It hurts to see others
around me,
for them to be happy with their life,
for my own friends to never know
everything I've ever gone through,
emotionally and physically
and I hope they never do.
This type of pain just makes you want
to slit your wrist and watch the blood pour out;
to watch the world crumble all around you
and then you finally,
slowly,
end the pain and sorrow and hatred.
That's what she did to me.
She watched me,
as I killed myself on the inside
and she laughed in my face.
As if she didn't care I was dying,
like I never mattered to her, ever.

She drained my life out of me
and told me to keep moving
and to stay happy
so she could have a better life.
Well, what about me? !
Am I allowed to have a life that's happy,
a life that's full of joy,
a life that I can call my own,
a life where I don't have to wait on you hand and foot? !
Don't I deserve just that much? !

I swear on my life,
if I ever saw her again,
I would rip her throat out
and gladly watch her suffer.

Maybe, someday.

Until then.

Tofur Damico

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/deserve/