Tina MacKay - Bargaining

I thought of you today
No, that is a lie
I thought of you from the moment I opened my eyes
Till the moment sleep relieved me
Relieved sleep soon became intolerable
Then I awoke
And you were still gone

Repetitive songs with enhanced meaning
Empty agony
Bargaining
Realisation dawning, undercurrent of acceptance
Denial
Pain, so much pain
Anger and a very deep sadness
I am changed
What will become of me?

Did you mean those tender words in the early hours?
The times we watched the sun rise
Enhanced senses
Morning fog
Sunlight and cobwebs

Solitude
Senses are dulled
Pain is exquisite
Bargaining, ever bargaining with myself
Anything to stop this agony

Self-pity is laughable
Like watching someone else
But it’s my play
And I have the leading role

Tina MacKay

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/bargaining/