Thomas Spencer - Ignorant

I'll admit I'm purposely ignorant,
Refusing to learn how to cope with,
The idea I'm no longer your love game participant.
Seducing my mind like I'm that yo-yo on the line,
Coming back to you.
I am innately attracted to you,
Feverishly pursuing what should have long ago
Been resolved and you been in my arms long befo'
It ever got to this, where I'm stuck shaking my fist,
In utter disgrace, detestin my failures like I’m that drop-out,
Drop-back-in kid who long knew he'd never getting into,
That fancy university where the rich kids' pockets bought 'em into.
It. It is what I've never attained- that moment where you know you're not alone.
When you and your lover are together, and one in the same.
Not when I feel my mind flowing with unending hate for myself,
Knowing I'm the guy who withers on the park-bench as the lovers jog by.
But I'm trying to cut the cord that keeps me dangling on you,
So I can run without being yanked back into, some distorted reality,
Where my insane lil' mind keeps repeatedly thinking of you.
I gotta get out this coffin where your stakes are pinning me down through,
To the ground, keepin' me where only my faint faith shines through.
Instead of returning to actuality.
I’m stuck in some never-ending fallacy.

Thomas Spencer

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ignorant-7/