The new normal!

Bullied 14-year-old girl born without anus posts emotional video asking ‘What is normal?’
For most 14-year-old girls, their biggest worry is whether their crush likes them back, whether they’ve finished their homework on time or if their friends really like their new hairstyle.

But for 14-year-old Aiesha Ross, from New Zealand, it’s been a whole other story.

Aiesha was born with an imperforate anus. She also had associated cloacal abnormalities, leaving the nerves in her spine controlling her bowel and bladder damaged, so Aiesha has no control over them.

Aiesha has to wear a colostomy bag and also uses a tube to empty her bladder because of this, which she said she was teased for throughout high school.

Alongside these conditions, Aiesha also has only one kidney, and no vaginal pouch, so one was created for her which left her with no uterus or cervix – meaning that sadly, she is unable to have children.

In an emotional video entitled ‘The new normal?’ in which Aiesha reads a speech written for her classmates, Aiesha speaks of the difficulties she encounters throughout day-to-day life.

Fighting back the tears as she speaks, she opens the video with: ‘Teenagers need to feel normal. What does normal mean? Who is normal?’

She goes on to say: ‘Being normal is doing things everyone else does – normal things like going on sleep overs, going on camps, going on trips and going swimming are easy things for you to do but not so easy for me.’

‘See, I have to take cautions for everything and at our age wearing a bikini is normal, going to sleepovers is normal, to not have to live life wondering whether you will have a husband is normal.

‘To grow up without having to be in and out of hospital is normal.’

She begins to speak about her conditions, and it is truly heartbreaking to watch as she speaks with a lump in her throat, desperately trying to fight back the tears.

As she continues, she goes on to say: ‘Now let me explain how this affects my not so normal life…

‘I haven’t been able to go on school camps unless I have a parent or teacher with me. I can’t go to sleepovers because I’m not normal.

‘I’m always wondering if I’ll even have a husband or children when I’m older, because I’m not normal. I’m in and out of hospital because I’m not normal.

‘I’m sure everyone in this room has had some kind of bully in their life. Well, so have I. I’m bullied on a daily basis. I’m called disgusting, weird and ugly. I’m looked down upon because I can’t have my own children, because I’m not normal.
‘Some days I’m too scared to look in the mirror because I am disgusted by my own image.

‘I wear clothes that cover my stomach because I’m not normal.’

Beginning to cry, she says: ‘Sometimes I do think people would probably be better off without me, because no one would have to deal with my problems and issues.’

But with a quick turn around, she changes the tone of the video, saying: ‘But if I have to put up with myself every day, then so do you.’ To which her audience laughed.

She begins to speak about the benefits to her condition, mentioning things such as not having to have periods and not having to go through the pain of giving birth to a child and that she doesn’t want special treatment:

‘Please don’t take pity on me or treat me differently, because I am not different – I am unique,’ she says.

She finished her inspiring speech on an important note, stating: ‘There is no such thing as being normal. I am so sick of being compared to others, who are so called “normal”.

‘I am sick and tired of being treated differently because “I’m not normal”. I am so sick and tired of the old “normal”.

‘Please take a stand, and make a new normal.’