Ted Sheridan - No Respect

The pain that I feel
is deep and very dark
it crawls out from my belly
and up into my throat
forcing me to swallow it whole
and sometimes without Vodka
I conceal it from the sight of others
hiding it well underground
from those people love me
But it tricks me
with my own denial of its very existence
Excruciating thoughts
I bury them with my laughter's shovel
Disguised as humor
they feed off of me....
Sabotaging any attempts
I make at obtaining
the joy which was lost
with the passing of my youth
They demand retribution
for all services they rendered
They call my notes due in full
Banks closed and I am in default
Demanding their payment
in the form of my soul
I bankrupt my savings....
My soul aches......
There are no jokes
only sarcasms
they now cannibalize my smiles
with feeble antidotal parables
of starving children in China
and Darwin's theory of evolution
Only the strong survive
and I am destined for extinction
I have outlived my usefulness...
I hunger and I thirst for more than there is...
but more shall not be forthcoming.
Only pain
the pain of being dead....
and not knowing you died
I thought I was a comedian
but none of my jokes
were funny____

Ted Sheridan

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/no-respect-2/