Tamara Tamz - Embedded Deeply

i dont understand...
how can it be?
after everything, how did it happen?

embedded in my heart,
like a scar i cant seem to get rid of,
a thread woven so tightly yet so beautifully...
how?

i never let u in. i never let u in that deeply.
so tell me, how did it happen?
i dont understand...

was it like a virus that invaded and slowly spread then took over?
maybe it was a sly and cunning move on ur behalf?
or lets just be honest...
maybe u were in there all along. maybe u hide inside a dark and deep corner i had unsupervised.
maybe i was too trusting.
or maybe subconcously i let u in; slipped you past the security, through the barriers and right to the centre.
maybe a part of me wanted u in...
i dont know, i dont understand...

why isnt it going away? why isnt it making any sense?
i tried so hard to avoid this happening,
i never gave u permission, i never let u in.
whatever it is, how ever it happened... plz leave.

so many conflicting thoughts and feelings,
so much confusion.

y dont u ask? y dont u care?
yet you do care, and you do ask
but you dont bother?
i dont understand...

why did u betray me? y did u lie?
why do you reveal some truth and keep the rest hidden?
i know what your hiding, so why dont you just say it?
but why do i still care? y r u still inside? y do i.....
love you
i dont understand...

security has been upgraded. logic has taken control.
i dont want you in. you wont be my weakness.
the reinforcemnts have taken charge, and you no longer have a grasp.
now you hang from my heart by a thread. although it is a thick thread,
although you may climb back to the top,
now it feels comfortable... now it feels safe.

now the sun shines again,
now i have let go... now im protected.
now it is cloaked.
now i understand.

Tamara Tamz

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/embedded-deeply/