Survival Strategies Study

Survival Strategies Study

When drowning in the ocean, do not grab on to flotsam and jetsam. This will not save you, and you could wind up with splinters or a rusty nail in your hand.

When taken hostage on a plane, shove your Israeli passport under the seat. Pray that they like Americans. Do not pray in Hebrew.

When taking an AP exam in Calculus in a room with bright lights and a proctor wearing sunglasses, keep your eyes on your own paper. Realize it was a mistake to take the class. Know that you will dream about this for the next fifty years.

When you find yourself in the middle of a war, cover the windows. Fill the bathtub. Play Monopoly with your sister and knock her hotels off the table. Deny you did it on purpose. When the sirens blare, put your hands over your ears. Run.

When your mother dies, tell yourself it’s to be expected. People die. Be strong. When you collapse on the floor, try not to break any bones. Consider staying on the floor.

When it’s dangerous to be near people, see it as an opportunity to read all the books in your house. Who needs people anyway? Pretend you’re on a writing retreat, even if you’re not writing. Try to check the news only once every hour. Stop saying, “I can’t believe it.” Believe it.

When in doubt, look at your To Do List:
Diet Exercise Meditate Read Write Put on mascara Buy new bras Throw out old underwear
Who knows what might save you.

-- Paulette K. Fire

Music: Frédéric Chopin – Mazurka Op.7 No.1

Piano, Noah Fire

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