Sharon Jane Lansbury - Bed Bugs!

I snuggled with my book in bed,
a feather pillow for my head,
when something strange materialised
right there before my very eyes!

A troop of creatures fairly small
across my eiderdown they crawled,
they marched up to my book to see
if they might have a word with me!

Their leader said, in tiny tones:
‘listen up you lazy bones! ’
I gazed down at the crowd before me,
half a million, then add forty!

‘Well? ’ I said. ‘What’s wrong with you?
Do you want to hear this story too? ’
‘Darn and blast you! ’ he cried in fright:
‘You keep us up for half the night!

Can’t you keep still? Not move around?
Or better still, sleep on the ground? ’
‘I don’t see why I should’ I said,
‘after all, it is my bed! ’

‘Rubbish’ said the chap in charge.
‘It’s you – you’re far too fat and large!
For nightly when we snuggle round
deep within your eiderdown,

nestled cosy in your sheets
and busy counting woolly sheeps
you roll and bound. You won’t keep still!
You squeeze and squash us all at will! ’

‘Aha! ’ I said. ‘Now come with me
and we’ll avert catastrophe! ’
I marched them to my dolly’s house,
evicted Archibald, my mouse,

Peace restored, and back to bed,
another problem lay ahead:
For there within the warmth installed,
I found a comfy Archibald!

Sharon Jane Lansbury

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/bed-bugs-2/