Scarlet ..... - WHY(I AM NOT)

Why was I so stupid
Why did I let them get me down
Why did I let them drive me to this point
Where there is almost no return

Why did I just sit there
Letting them brainwash me
Letting them tell me I was the problem
I was the one to blame for all

I was so young
I just trusted what they said
Trusted them
There is my mistake

I grew up
Blaming myself
Hating myself
All because of them
And why

Like how could they do this
HOW
They broke my soul at such a young age

I lived in darkness
Not even knowing of the light

Afraid to feel
Afraid to hurt people
So afraid to be myself
That I ended up losing myself

Now that I see all this
I am left with but a shell of a person
So how am I to start living
When I am not all there

I want my life back
I want to be whole
I no longer wanna be broken

For fnck sakes I know I am not the one to blame
I am not the fncking problem
As much as you both all want to just say that I am
I AM NOT

I did nothing but try to make you happy
I lost out on so much
cause I was too busy living for you
Well screw that

I will now pick my pieces
And leave
With the little sanity I have left
Thanks to you all

Hopefully
I will be able to solve the puzzle that is me
Then I will be whole
As one should be

Scarlet .....

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/why-i-am-not/