Scarlet ..... - filled with darkness

my mind is clouded with thoughts
thoughts of death
my death
these thought interrupt my mind
every minute
of every hour
of every day
I do not want to die
but still that is all I think about
when I lay down to sleep
I think of the noose just above my bed
when I wake
I take my meds
and think why not take the whole bottle
that will fix things quicker
when I walk to my dresser
to get ready
I see my razor
I think why not cut
nice and deep
so I can slowly become numb
so I can slowly fade away
I think all this and yet
I believe I no longer want to die
but in response my mind cries
do you really wanna live
and in truth I do not know the answer
do i really wanna find out
prolly not a god idea

Scarlet .....

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/filled-with-darkness/