Scarlet ..... - Afraid, So afraid

I’m so afraid
I’ve finally found something
something good in my life
I’m afraid to enjoy it
afraid to trust it
afraid to open up all the way
afraid to be bruised and broken again
afraid that I won’t be able to heal
most of all I’m afraid to screw this up
afraid to I’ll build my walls up again
the thing that scares me the most
is I’m afraid to bruise and break him
for I’ve been bruised and broken
more than once
and I know how it feels
I know if I screw it up its will be my fault
I will have earned the bruises and beatings
but he wouldn't have
I can’t imagine causing someone else that pain
all that pain I’ve felt
the bruises and beatings
I’m so scared to cause that pain
because I know will never forgive myself
if I bruise and break him
for he would never had deserved it
only I would have
and for this
I would never forgive myself
never

Scarlet .....

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/afraid-so-afraid/