Scarborough Gypsy - Hic!

Peter A Crowther challenge for Scarborough Gypsy to: “write a poem about the evils of drink in a slurred voice and let it include the words ‘metamorphosis’, ‘bottle-nosed whale’, and ‘second cousin’.”

I’ve been down me local thish morning
The Blottoe Nosed Whale is it’s name
It’s been through a meta-morph-oshis
But the God awful shtench is the shame

Hic!

I’m so bloody drunk at the moment
I stink I’m about to trow up
Don’t be tempted by drink now I warns you
Don’t be tempted to filleth your cup

Hic!

I started the day off on Tiza
And progreshed with a nod onto beer
Then my shecond coushin Elisha
Gave me sherry that made me quite queer
So to get rid the tashte I gulped whisky
And followed that down with shum rum
But I started to feel rather frishky
And fondled the barman’s dogs bum

Hic!

‘cause it’s evil I shell you, it’s evil
It makes total fools out of men
And it also makes you see drubble
If you hold up five now I see ten.

Scarborough Gypsy

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/hic/