Sara Stowell - Amnesia

A shining beam is what you are
Or should I say you were,
I can't remember much today
It all seems like a blur.

Inside I've gone against the grain
of morals I have known,
righteous values vowed and cherished
sewn into my soul.

Now how do I repair the seams
that snagged onto a nail,
when everything I hoped would be
I knew could not prevail.

The nails from the cross I bore
in behalf of Holy names,
unraveled faith to numb my soul
still, I take all the blame.

For every moment I'm awake
there's gnawing on my bones,
a slave engraved with memories
like etchings on a stone.

So now I see no way to win
How can I even hope to mend
when I'm a walking mannequin
who's pondering anesthesia.

To rage and ooze, forget and lose
either way, what I will choose
will lead to pain, to drugs or booze
now that I seek amnesia.

© S.E.S

Sara Stowell

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/amnesia/