Sandra Brennan - Moving On

I've always hated this part,
The dividing of the stuff...
The packing and trying to remember
What is his, and what is mine
Putting my own solitary life
Back into boxes-moving out, moving on.
Trying to find some way
To look at this as a new beginning
Not the pathetic ending
That it feels like, right now.
I wish I could hate you...
Wish you had turned out to be some
Horrible excuse for a man
And that I was walking away feeling
Lucky to be rid of you...
But... the truth is, you are still
The nicest man I've ever known.
And I wish...I wish...I wish...
I wasn't so completely wrong for you.
And I'm trying to come out of this
Whole thing with some dignity,
But I feel like even that, is in shreds.
I don't know why I thought, you could fix me.
Maybe it's because you were
The first man that I could not stick
A big 'loser' sign on, and walk away.
But-it isn't your job to fix me,
Or even love me. It never was.
It was never suppose to get this complicated.
What I hate most is that I already miss you,
Even now, when you are only 10 feet away.
I can't imagine walking out that door,
Knowing I will never come back.
That I will no longer be welcome in your life.
I know I've said I'm sorry to you,
More times than I can even count,
And I know that being sorry doesn't
Change a damn thing for either of us.
But...I am sorry.
You are right, though.
We're just kidding ourselves, better to go now
Than to drag it out any longer.
It is time to move on.

Sandra Brennan

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/moving-on-9/