Russia may be training special ops whales

INGA, NORWAY — Marine experts in Norway believe they have discovered a white whale that was trained by the Russian navy as part of a program that uses underwater mammals as a special ops force. Whale—that would be something.
According to the Guardian, fishermen near the Norwegian fishing town of Inga reported seeing a white beluga whale wearing a unique harness that began to harass their fishing boats.
The fishermen said the whale was acting strangely and looking for boats and trying to pull straps and ropes from the sides of the boat.
According to the Guardian, the tight harness seemed to be made for a camera or possibly some kind of weapon.
Inside the harness, which was removed from the whale, it said "Equipment of St. Petersburg."
Audun Rikardsen, professor at the department of arctic and marine biology at the Arctic University of Norway, said he had contacted Russian researchers who told him they had nothing to do with the harnessed whale.
Rikardsen said the researchers told them it was most likely the Russian navy in Murmansk.
Now it they found some sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads, now that would be over-whale-ming.