Randy Johnson - Pursued

(This is a fictional poem)

When I was being pursued by a bisexual man, I told him that I'm straight.
I told him that men are people who I do not date.
He pursued me every single day.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him to go away.
He has very little luck when he dates women and even worse luck with men.
I told him I wasn't interested but he came back again and again.
He followed me everywhere I went, even across the Mexican border.
I finally got fed up and got a restraining order.
He decided to get revenge because I didn't return his feelings.
He put a skunk in my house and a bucket of oil over my door and this wasn't appealing.
That was the last straw, I finally kicked his ass.
I confined him to a hospital bed and that was the last time I was harassed.
Later he started pursuing my brother, he even went to his house in the nude.
That guy spent even more time eating hospital food.

Randy Johnson

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/pursued/