Randy Johnson - Prizefighter

(This is a fictional poem)

I used to think that those Rocky movies ruled.
When I saw Rocky win, that was pretty cool.
Those movies inspired me to be a prizefighter.
Many times I couldn't eat because my jaw was wired shut and I'd end up twenty pounds lighter.
I won the heavyweight championship but they revoked my title because I lost weight.
I cussed them out when they took my title but that wasn't a decision that was great.
They had bodyguards who were bigger than me.
They beat me so hard that I was in agony.
The heavyweight championship was the only bout I ever won, I never won again.
I tried and tried but I couldn't win.
I fought George Foreman and he knew no fear.
He bit me in the crotch and reduced me to tears.
After fighting, I couldn't see because my eyes were swelled shut.
Some school kids saw that I couldn't defend myself and they kicked my butt.
I was so familiar with the canvas that I should've been a painter.
When I faced the bigger fighters, I became a fainter.
If you plan to be a prizefighter, I have some advice to give so you won't go wrong.
If you're as lousy as me, you won't have a pretty face for very long.

Randy Johnson

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/prizefighter/