Randy Johnson - I saved Christmas

When Santa Claus came down my chimney, I thought he was a robber.
I grabbed my baseball bat and old Saint Nick got clobbered.
Santa had some compound fractures and he kept saying ouch.
I made his deliveries while he laid on my couch.
I climbed on my roof and got in his sled.
When I told the reindeers to fly, Prancer kicked me in the head.
I delivered the presents all around the world.
Because of me, there were a lot of happy boys and girls.
The next year I asked Santa for a new bowling ball because I love to bowl.
But when I checked my stocking, I saw that the fatso gave me a block of coal.

Randy Johnson

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-saved-christmas/