Patrick Tolan - Kerosene Dreams

What am I feeling right now?
Devastation.
Nostalgia of my mistakes rots my stomach
I wince in pain, an undoing in vein
Like trying to halt the rapid train
Upon my being, has left a stain
Trying to escape, fly like the crane
My very strength, my very bane

I dream of fire, closing the night
Like kerosene dreams, the enemy is light
Breathing in; my chest feels tight
Someone perched on my pectoral
Singing with a choir in chorus choral
The sour note burns, a screeching tyre
On the asphalt that is my hard attire
The softness beneath, a burning desire
Like kerosene dreams, my friend is the fire

Stolen, my heart hits a stutter
Not much of a gambler but likes a flutter
My inner voice from a scream to a mutter
No longer cuts deep, like knife through butter
But troubles my sleep, no longer the big player
Unity was my weapon, a loose cannon fired early
A confidence winded, no longer so burly
Still the nostalgia, but it wasn’t my fault
She doesn’t mind, or does she? I do

What am I feeling right now?
Transparency
Or am I? I can’t see
But…transparency…
Another meaning lost in translation
As the train pulls off, I forget the last station

Patrick Tolan

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/kerosene-dreams/