Ogden Nash - Oh To Be Odd!

Hypochondriacs
Spend the winter at the bottom of Florida and the summer on top of
the Adirondriacs.
You go to Paris and live on champagne wine and cognac
If you're dipsomognac.
If you're a manic-depressive
You don't go anywhere where you won't be cheered up, and people say
"There, there!" if your bills are excessive.
But you stick around and work day and night and night and day with
your nose to the sawmill.
If you're nawmill.

Note: Dipsomaniac -- alcoholic

Ogden Nash

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/oh-to-be-odd/