Nancy Handabile - Quick Pain

Pain, deep unbearable pain
Searing through me
Quick, cutting through me
Through the very essence of me

My face plain
No emotions, dead ever laughing
You don't know me
I do not know me

I am weak because I cannot admit
My weakness
Afraid to show it
My eyes hurt from holding back
My tears
I do not know my fears.

My loneliness tying me
Holding me captive
Who is my friend
Who is my lover,

The roads to happiness
Lead no where
You say, "Nancy is always happy"

I see my pain
Reflected in a movie, in a song
My every laughter forced
My every hurt hidden.
I am strong, fearless, bold,
Hurt, wounded, lonely, hurt, lonely.

I am a coward, a liar
Even to myself
For in my room, even alone,
I cannot allow my pain
To curse down my face
For I feel no shame
For I do not know
Why I weep
I do not know
What I am searching for
I have no idea.

Nancy Handabile

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