Mindy Brown - My Suicide

I sit here staring into the dark lonely, sad and angry.
I look in my broken window and I see the stars.
I grab at the glass shards on the ledge.
Next, I am screaming in the confines of my prison cell in this place I call home.
The sharp glass is so close to my skin.
I start to cut, the first deep and the others superficial.
I look in the mirror and I say, ' At least now I can cry. At least now I hurt in some way. At least now I am free.'
The blood starts seeping out.
The blood is every where I turn.
The sheets have blood on them, my clothes too and yet I'm still screaming but no one seems to care.
I hear no footsteps, no screams to stop, nothing.
I am alone.
I begin to think as I start to black out, ' Is it really this easy to die? '
My life full of mistakes flashing before my eyes, again I see the drugs, sex, and pain in my life.
I don't regret dying for I was already dead inside.
I had given up hope.
I had no more reason to live and yet I still smiled as I died because I was finally happy. I died in prayer for the lord to forgive me for what I had done in my life and what I had done to myself.
I felt to the end every inch of sorrow I had caused to my family,
And I said in my last gasping breaths to my family, 'Please forgive me.'

~ I wrote this because I have thought about suicide everyday since I was twelve~ ALSO i do not believe in God but i hope i may still be like remembered and like still go to heaven..lol...ALSO i am NOT 12 I am 16..i have felt this way for awhile that is what i meant on the above lines...sorry for the confusion!

Mindy Brown

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-suicide-15/