maya crisol - Trapped and Isolated

feeling trapped and isolated...
there are times when my breathing gets so shallow that it feels like i'm laying face down in the kiddie pool. I don't know what i'm doing. i can barely understand the things that I'm hearing...even my own thoughts are so hard to define...or maybe i'm not thinking....no I'm thinking...then again maybe not....too much going on inside. Inside....but there's nothing in my head really... i think my head is empty...like it's always been. does 800,000 different thoughts going through your head...mean empty? but it sure feels like it....i can't even focus on one thought.
I feel so distant from everybody... it's been so long now...i've always been this way...but today...today...i feel it more today.
Guess i've been running away... finding escape... from everything...searching for a place to hide...a place. then there is him..i found a perfect secret room in him. But this secret room...isn't always there to take me in....leaving me with nowhere to go. standing out in the cold....freezing cold...
Hundreds of people to call....places to go...things to do....
but i can't seem to pick up 'my' pieces....i always feel so isolated...
it's all i ever wanted and yet....i'm cursing it like hell.

maya crisol

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/trapped-and-isolated/