Matthew Cole - Still wondering

Starring down the barrel of a hot bedded 45

Just wondering...

What has my life come to?

As I lean back to forget whats happened

I let up on the guns safety

Knowing theres a single round waiting in the chamber

Slowly I raise the gun...

I release my finger of the trigger guard...

Just to put it on the trigger it self

As memories fly through my mind I start to cry

Trying to figure out...

What have I done?

I realize I'm not as happy as I want to be

I press my head hard against my pillow

Still tears poor down my face

As I remember the name...

I realize I can't give up

I made promises

I intend to keep

Crying like a baby

Trying to figure out what happened last night

I slowly put the gun down

As I let up on the magazine release

The magazine hits the floor with a loud bang

Pulling hard on the slide

The bullet ejects and falls next to me

I lay staring at the ceiling

Still wondering...

What would have happened if I had pulled the trigger?

Matthew Cole

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/still-wondering/