Man miraculously survives girlfriend's katana attack

CAMAS, WASHINGTON — Hell hath no fury like a crazy girlfriend who thinks she's being scorned, and this dude learned that the hard way, after almost being hacked to death in his own bedroom.

The Oregonian reports that gamer Alex Lovell spent hours on end playing and training for survival video game "PlayerUnknown's Battleground," which didn't sit well with his girlfriend of two years Emily Javier.

Furthermore, Javier had recently spotted a Tinder app on her boyfriend's phone, scratches on his back, and red hair in the shower — which in her head meant he was cheating.

Rather than confront him, she planned his demise and bought a katana at the mall. Her rage reached its tipping point on March 2, when Lovell came home and completely ignored her.

Once he fell asleep, she pulled the sword from under the bed and aimed for the head. Luckily, Lovell got hit with the blunt end the first two times, and woke up in time to defend himself.

The 29-year-old claims years of watching martial arts movies helped him 'wing-chun his way to survival', though not without getting hacked in a few places.

Eventually, he managed to grab Javier by the arms and told her he was going to die unless she called for help. That broke her murderous spell, and she called 911.

Officers found Lovell curled up in the blood-splattered bedroom with life-threatening injuries and rushed him to the hospital.

He's since had his fingers reattached and several other body parts stitched up, and will live to game another day. Javier, meanwhile, is in jail and facing a charge for attempted murder.

So all in all, it was a pretty happy ending.