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LORE - Duke Nukem Lore in a Minute!
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Art by Metaly
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Written and Voiced by Dodger
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Edited by Schroeder
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TRANSCRIPT:
LORE - Duke Nukem Lore in a Minute!
In the, at the time, not too distant future of 1997, a standard sci-fi event of general madness and radiation poisoning addles the brain of a once beloved genius and scientist now known as Dr Proton, scourge of Earth's largest city. After creating some crazy awesome robots in the underworld, the CIA hires Duke based entirely on his witty one-liners and epic flexing abilities.
Following Dr Proton not only to his super hidden underground base but also to the moon and the future, Duke comes out the winner and returns to Earth, receiving the key to the city as per 80s movie montage.
After writing an Autobiography lovingly entitled "Why I'm So Great", an alien race known as Rigelatins show up and capture Duke to use his brain and take over the world. Duke breaks free easily and yet again, saves earth.
While on his way back in his fancy space cruiser, he reaches Los Angeles, hoping for some beer and hookers but is caught off guard by the hostile shooting of his ship. Learning that the LAPD have been mutated into awkward pigs and slowly realizing that perhaps his booze and boobs plan might have to wait, he vows to destroy the scourge plagueing Earth yet again.
After tracking down an alien cruiser, he defeats the Battlelord and learns that they've been capturing women and rocketing them into space.
Not one to be outdone, Duke goes to space as well, finding the women trapped in incubators and reaching the alien mothership, oddly enough, located yet again on The Moon.
After returning to Los Angeles, he plows through a legion of aliens and defeats their leader and the queen, finally getting the TLC he's demanded since the second game and declaring that once he's done resting, he will be ready for more action.
Apparently more action equates to a poorly thought out terrible waste of time.
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