Laura Cummings - Hiding

i take a deep breath and close my eyes,
disappearing into the place I can hide if only sporadically,
deep inside my head away from disturbing eyes that haunt,
still my mind is full of people who listen in on my thoughts trespassing on foreign ground,
criticising the way I think the way I breathe and the way I live,
not understanding that sometimes you just need to vent your feelings,
never minding how they look on the page.

if I let you in my head and give you the keys to every locked door,
then please tread carefully,
each line and every wire is fragile.

i take a deep breath and go deeper into myself to the only place I am safe with only my thoughts to fear,
thoughts of suicide missions to fix the impossible, thoughts of murder just to get people to SHUT UP,
thoughts of giving up and just settleing with what I already have,
giving up the fight for more, giving up the fight for a full life.

can you truly be held responsible for someone elses actions if you knew what they were doing and they ended up dying?

just breathing deeply living in my head,
closing doors on people I once let in,
going deeper and deeper inside my own head,
closing doors on people I once let in,
going deeper and deeper inside my own head,
so that when I finaly give up the fight and die no one shall even notice and ill just be left alone with the silence of my thoughts.

But none of this really matters, one day I will grow up, and the hand that would have once clicked send without hesitation, will click
delete.

Laura Cummings

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/hiding/