Khaos Dven - Nightmares

It's a wonder how i sleep at all during these quite nights, with all these horrofic sights, passing through my mind, and i cant stop. i cant think. I cant feel. It's weird how surreal pain is. how
THIS is. I get up, pace in my room, do push ups, try to get through my gloom. I feel selfish not caring, not fearing. Get back in bed with a weak resolve, try not to think of all these dark thoughts that circle and revolve. How weird, all the happiness is shattered when you open your eyes, and suddenly joy dies, and im stuck in this eternal hell. I land on my face, must have fell and just look, but to my horror i see every dark devil from my past and i shook. Deep hard sobs rack my tired and heavy body. I fell backwards unable to shake the image that made me fall out of bed, i felt nothing...i felt dead. It's my worst fear come true, the only one who could harm me, came right through, in my vision. I try to stop shaking and dry the sweat that soaked my shirt and get away from my indesicion. Whats wrong with me? My cold heart cant be fixed and now i can see. I can see...what. What ive become. My nightmares increase and i feel like im suffocating, only to realize im screaming, its so hard to breath, my body quivers and i start to heave. What a nightmare, but now i know what it really was and i stare at the...how could it happen? My nightmare is for real, and i cant feel, my world is lost, every second of my life is torture and theres no future...in my living nightmare, cant you see? ...my worst fear...the one that can hurt...is me...

Khaos Dven

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/nightmares-32/