Kelly Seale - 'The Ghost Within Me'

There is a ghost within me, he's somewhere deep inside,
stirring me in my soul, trying unsuccessfully to hide.
Voices so distant, yet existing all the same,
my confusion growing stronger, slowly driving me insane.

Memories of a past life, or one yet to be fulfilled,
I'm not sure where I'm going, what direction I will find,
I just know that I'm hurting, and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I never sleep, no not really. Just a minute or two- for it's too hot,
the ghost within me keeps tormenting, wide awake when I'm not.

I'm desperate for the silence, I'm desperate some peace,
The ghost ever-present, his ramblings never seem to cease.
As I contemplate the ending, testing the razors edge against my skin,
laughing tears stream down my face, the ghost within me- echos my sin.
Cold blue steel with five empty chambers, click click, the name of the game,
tomorrow's dreams vanish in an instant, another empty click-
Life's sick joke is on me now, the ghost within me's to blame.

The jar of pills lay empty, the bottle of whisky upturned on the floor,
outside someone is screaming, pounding in my head-
Or is that pounding coming from the door.
Chaos erupts all around me, red and blue lights are flashing,
voices far off in the distance, someone pounds upon my chest,
The ghost within fades a little, God, will I ever get any rest.

A breath of air and now I'm breathing, my eyes blink and I'm back from the dead-
The ghost within me retreats to safety,
Hiding, but still there- buried deep within my head.

Kelly Seale

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-ghost-within-me/