Katelyn McKay - feel

I sit down in my dark room and hide,
About to commit mass suicide,
I stare down at the blade in my hand,
Wondering if death is more grand,
Next I look over at my scared wrist,
I feel fear and anger as I tighten my fist,
I try to over come the urge and win the fight,
But I don’t think that I will win tonight,
I think about the things that have been said,
About how they make me wish that I was dead,
I think about the names that I am called,
And how at first I was so appalled,
But now I’m starting to think what you say is true,
As I think more and more I start to really hate you.
I tell myself things will turn around,
That my hidden pain wont be found,
I go to school with a fake smile on my face,
While deep inside feeling like a total disgrace,
I make it seem like I feel great or good,
When really I feel so misunderstood.
I walk around needing to cry,
And I live my life wanting to die,
I feel like a part of me is gone,
Like a part of my soul has been withdrawn,
I feel lost and scared,
Like no one has ever cared,
And now in less then a second my addiction wins,
My hand moves and the blade cuts the skin,
I just let go of my tight hold,
See this is what happens when emotions unfold.

Katelyn McKay

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/feel/