John Richey - Utter Isolation

Not knowing what to say, nor having the knowledge to fathom the possibilities.
Earnest in my search for emotions to no longer conquer over my willpower…
The right action to do, to carry out, is far too elusive for me to seize
Branching out to explore new alternatives, to find the right solution
Desperation turns into anguish, when failure glares at me, invoking my uncontrollable emotions
Crying out when the path I have undertaken, veers into a dead-end.

The battleground takes many forms, embracing the clash of emotions.
Sometimes, it ventures out in the form of ghastly actions, physical and verbal
Causing others to recoil in confusion, being morbid and absurd to close friends
The actions I do are not pleasurable to me or others that I interact with…
Causing a great regret that I suffer, knowing I’ll never be able to make things at harmony.

Hopelessness is what overtakes my whole being, shutting me down…
Digging a treacherous pit that becomes deeper day by day,
Feeling a sorrow of untold strength, having the insufferable urge to wallow alone in my misery
Where the personal abyss I’ve created turns into my refuge.

John Richey

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/utter-isolation/