Improvisation - Opening a Coconut

*No Audio* I m walking along and I come across a tasty coconut (obviously not real); I try to simply break it, no luck. I try to smash it on the ground; no luck. I miraculously have a hammer and chisel in my pocket; no luck. I try to smash it open with my head, hand, and foot; no luck. I try to smash it with a giant mallet that is laying nearby (the broom); no luck. Lastly, I try something thats not so forceful; I pee on it; unbelievably it opens. At the end, I take a bite from the pee soaked coconut, and walk away with it.