Herbert Nehrlich - The Night Pot

If you get old in Germany,
and in the night you have to pee,
remember, they have a tradition
to master this nocturnal mission,
a pot of porcelain is placed
under the bed, the handle faced
toward the user, who then drags
the implement, and two small rags
from under into open view,
this doubles as convenient loo.
It saves you running, mad and madder
downstairs while bearing a full bladder,
the outhouse also harbours spiders
and other shady, insect hiders.
The dunny (it's the Aussie loo)
is for the day, one for the crew
the other for the upper classes
and for their privileged fat asses.
The night pot though is not well known
and rare the family to own
such practical and handy catcher,
I think the British Lady Thatcher
was given one by Chancellor Schmidt
who also used the thing for sh**t.
One CAVEAT, I need to mention,
when using pots, do pay attention,
your aim depends upon the length
and also on your felon's strength.
Once finished, shake with some finesse
thus you prevent the smallest mess.
But, when you slide the pot again
beneath the bed, first push and then
assess position so it stands
at most the distance of two hands
away from clumsy, tripping toes,
believe you me, I'm one who knows.

Herbert Nehrlich

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