God is Good - (untitled)

Momma go look for me in my room,
but I anin't there.
Praying to God for a sign,
saying I'm still here.
But he can't cause I'm not,
I'm gone.
Got shot in my head
but poor momma doesn't know.
Weeks go by,
still my body isn't found.
Everyone's crying....
but my momma makes no sound.
She can't lie, don't wanna be fake anymore.
Sitting, thinking,
'should be careful what I wish for'
Everyday she'd wish I wasn't born....
Since I was a kid,
everyday I was scorned.
She killed the man who she said was my donor...
and hated me cause she didn't want him to bone her.
So everyday I'd behave the best that I could.
Got disappointed cause it never did any good.
I hid in my closet, away from her hand.
Momma's downsatairs buying drugs from the man.
It was always the same,
and i got used to her ways.
Till one day she seemed to be in a daze.
She told me she loved me and she kissed my face.
I started to smile,
till she touched me in the wrong place.
I backed away and i cried out her name.
Looked in her eyes, seeing she wasn't the same.
........
Two hours went by and I wanted to be gone.
Momma's out the house,
so I'm home all alone.
I closed my eyes, couldn't believe what she'd done.
She held me down,
didn't give me a chance to run.
I called up my friend,
she couldnt come to the phone.
So I went for a walk,
trying to find a comfort zone.
Momma was always messed up,
but that side of her I wasn't used to....
She helped me decided how to use her pistol.

God is Good

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/untitled-807/