Fonejacker S2/E3 •

Mr Broadbandings calling from "Internet Relationship Findings", asking a man if he's in a relationship. He says he is, but Mr Broadbandings still urges him to join up, asking him if he wants "a bit on the sidings" - only for the man to threaten to report him to Trading Standards, which influences Mr Broadbandings to offer him a free gift. The man stops his car before the threat, only to be towed away for illegal parking.
The Chinese DVD gang leader telephones a T-shirt printing company, asking if he can have sweatshirts reading "Tommy Hilfiger", "Poro Sport" and caps reading "Georgio Armani". The man he is talking to informs him they are illegal to sell on the market due to being a registered trademark, to which the Chinese man says he can sell them on the Internet.
The Fonejacker phones a florist, but uses a CD in an electrical shop which plays battleground effects, so it sounds like he's telephoning from the Afghanistan war.
Jimmy Jon is given a call back from a man he telephoned earlier in the day, only to miss the call. When he gets back to him he tells him he is interested in buying a bed he has for sale, only to make sexual references informing the caller what he wants to do with the bed.
Terry Tibbs telephones a funeral director, asking for a small coffin for his wife's dog. The lady he is talking to gets stunned, with Terry asking her if its "A monologue or a twosome?, talk to me!", then says that she's in shock. As he talks about having to pay for "another pooch", and how they'll say goodbye, she starts to crack up laughing. With this, Terry tells her to get a grip on herself, otherwise he'll "Bury the bluddy thing" himself.
Mr Doovdé telephones a hotel, informing the lady on reception that he was in the bar and heard a song. He sings "The Girl from Ipanema" to her using nonsense lyrics. After inviting her workmates to listen to him, she says she cannot recognise the song and puts him through to the bar.
A young Liverpudlian inmate named Stevie telephones for a job to be an au pair, only for the woman to refuse him due to his "guv" asking if he said to her what he's in jail for. The inmate has a tattoo reading "Acckrington Stanley".
The Mouse telephoning a locksmith to free him from a cage in London Zoo, which has a digital timer at the top, in which when it reaches zero, a hatch below him opens and then gets fed to the snakes. He informs the locksmith some of his family have died due to the same reason, only to fall into the snake pit himself while still on the phone. The singer Mika is shown as the zoo keeper in charge of the killings, who named the mouse "lunch".
Janec phones a record shop, applying for the position of keyboard player in a band, only to play sound effects heard on game shows, to indicate a correct and wrong answer due to claiming he "composed" the effects for a fictional show called Kraków 951. He later plays the sound heard on a supermarket tannoy, claiming he composed that also alongside a soundtrack for a murder sc