David Darbyshire - Great open spaces

In the wild and all them open spaces
You have plenty of room to thigh your laces
When I looked down to see my shoe
I then realized I just stepped in some 'PooH'

I stepped in it, how could I miss
I wish I had just stopped for a piss
But at my shoe, I do now stare
Hoping this shit is not from some Bear

Just then I heard something behind me
A Mounty jumped down from in a tree
Then he pointed at the 'crap' he saw
he said to me: 'That's against the law'! !

I started to explain it wasn't mine
He already started to write the fine
20$, and you will have to pay by nine
Stepping in shit is a crime?

I got there by nine, and paid my fine
'Funny enough', now I don't have a dime
And to match all that, now I really need a dump
The outhouse is broken and so is the pump

I found a big leaf and a bush
I closed my eyes and began to PUSH
I thought I heard ' and that's against the Law'
I was wrong it was just a big furry brown claw..............................

David Darbyshire

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/great-open-spaces/