Crazy Eight - First Blush

Yea, I'm there again, I'm here again
I can't believe, I can't comprehend
You can't expect
Me to genuflect
Your idea of a joint liberation!

Once again that bitter taste
Of inevitable anguish
And I'm too beside myself
To revere or cherish
Is this an ephemeron?

And I've reached the flatline
A state of blurring and apathy
Yea, and I'm a goddamn troglodyte
I'm reclusive and feeling useless!

My synapse breaks
Under the pressures I make
My synapse breaks
Under the doubt that you create

You're my closing thoughts
And you're my first blush
I'm full of daunting qualm
And I've had enough

Yea, I'm sick and I'm fucking choleric
I'm crestfallen and sometimes cryptic
But that's no excuse to keep me at sea
Remember I'm only as crazy as you believe me to be

My synapse breaks
Under the pressures I make
My synapse breaks
Under the doubt that you create

My anger races at a spastic speed
You're only after what YOU need
I can taste the rancor at the back of my throat
I'm helpless under your anemic clout

And, I'm in past my goddamn neck
In a sea of perplexity and neglect
Waiting for something to go horribly wrong
Bracing for a surprise that I knew all along

And I've reached the flatline
A state of blurring and apathy
Yea, and I'm a goddamn troglodyte
I'm reclusive and feeling useless!

My synapse breaks
Under the pressures I make
My synapse breaks
Under the doubt that you create

Crazy Eight

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/first-blush/