Chuck Audette - The Bath Thief

I don't care
people stare
and really want to laugh
a mystery
but just me
found in their hot bath

every week
I somehow sneak
into a nice full tub
it's not legit
I should quit
but this addiction I can't scrub

A hot bath thief
I find relief
don't wanna cause no trouble
but since you're here
would you care
to add a few more bubbles?

I have my faults:
(love epsom salts,
splash water on the rug)
but my flaws
are still no cause
for you to pull the plug

nope, can't stay
a clean get-away
the cops think I'm damn lucky
it's funny, but all
that folks recall
is my rubber ducky

and then one night
ooh, candlelight!
wine and some jazzy tunes
when what appears
but a giant rear
and over me it looms

I was trapped
you think it apt
at the bottom I near drownded?
twas a horrible fact
please make no cracks
on how I was surrounded

since that scare
this truth I bare
I've not much muscle power
so now on
baths are foregone
I'll see you in the shower!

Chuck Audette

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-bath-thief/