Bianca Walker - Longing For Lonely

Not much has changed since you’ve been gone
I awake in the morning
I humm to my favorite songs
I fall asleep at night with the bathroom light on
Occasionally
When I awake, I notice that you are gone, and still…
I am not lonely

I’ve turned this house into a home
Alone
Still…I am not lonely

I want to go back to feeling empty
When my life was over shadowed by expectations,
To the days when I was longing...
For something…
For someone…
For anything

Full is much to heavy

Full is an immovable rock, a bolder in the pit of your stomach that paralyzes you

Full has no compromise

I never knew that about success
Who would’ve thought a life so colorful would lack?

That my strengths are in shades of Gray and Black

It’s ironic that when you live your life in the light
You long for the dark
Some sort of pain or spark
To remind you that your human

I miss the days when I was unaware of what I was doing
When I still sustained a slight air of confusion
Full is much to calculating
Full is a plan, contrived
Full is being to heavy to dance
Full is lack spontaneity of chance
Full is many faces who chant your name aloud
Full is never being lost in the crowd
Once again, I want to be ignored

Am I ungrateful that I am longing to be empty?
I do not take for granted what has been giving to me
Lately, I find myself longing to be lonely.

©2007

Bianca Walker

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/longing-for-lonely/