Beautifully Unknown - Temporary Little Fix

Stop giving me refills,
Take away all these pills.
They can't ease my pain
All they do is confuse my brain.
Only in a state of constant bliss,
Will they forever be my fix.
One, two, four, eight.....
How many will I have to take to do the job?
Each time it seems I take more and more.
I know I said I'd quit,
But once you start its hard to stop.
When you say okay lets have a normal day
It never works
All it does is bring you more pain.
With nothing to gain
Nothing can take it away,
Not even the pills that numb
My heart or brain
I can't taste the cigarrettes I smoke anymore
The sent is gone
Leaving a cloud of smoke
That I can't even seem to sense is there
Right now everything is bare
I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this
In my little land full of blis
I know how I really feel,
But little do you know
There are things you will never hear
Like me getting messed up...
Just to try and block you out of my brain
So at the end of the day
I'll sleep just fine
Doing things with my hair
And trying new things just to see if it will make me
Feel pretty.
You never hear me say..
How sometimes I wish to die
And wish I never cried
So many things you don't know
And never will
Like me wishing to kill
Not myself or you,
But all who look at you...
All who look at you in the same way I do
We all know I'd never do that
But little do you know how many times
It goes through my head
Driving me crazy
There isn't even a word to describe my insanity
I can't stop,
I've tried, it doesn't work
I need something to get me through the day
You use to be there for me to make sure everything was okay
But now that you're gone I need something else
Something that will let me live in my little land full of bliss
Thats why I can't stop all these things that bring me
My temporary little fix!

Beautifully Unknown

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/temporary-little-fix/