Alex - The Best Mes

Chorus:
I am the best mess, man
Even if I’ve gone mental
I’ll roast you like a red tan
You’ll shit yourself like a bedpan
Whatever it was I said can
just make your friend and
you say, ‘I can’t comprehend that
that motherfucker just said that’

Verse 1:
I don’t swipe styles or bite rhymes
I write lines I like fine, biters
get copyright fines, that’s mine
or stay in a box in a plot for all time
I am ice cold and too hot to hold
My fire will scorch those who
might go try to mic control
I know they’re too boastful
You should be grateful
to get a taste of what I made up
I’m the greatest but
my saying ‘made up’ you say it ain’t what
it claims to be but it’s true straight up
You’re now rocking with the, um,
You just cannot rock
You needs tons of gravel to stand up
in my socks, the Grand Canyon’s
not gargantuan enough

Verse 2:
-Has that impatient inpatient been waiting?
+No, I just gave him his medication
-He needs to see a psychiatrist
after all he is a mental patient
+What is this metal casement?
It’s attached inside his pant legging
-Why didn’t you alert me?
He could be an insurgent
in Iraq’s insurgency or something
I’m worried and nervous that he’ll
pull a bomb out of his shoe heel
and kill you and murder me
+Hello hospital security, please
come with help in a hurry
there’s an emergency in room 203
-Good, I just put him to sleep

Verse 3:
Got a problem with me,
open your damn mouth
or get gobbled by me
Ya see my fangs now?
I’ll Virginia Tech massacre you
with a strap in your classroom at school
You’re not understanding a damn thing
about what Alex had to endure
You ask for the truth
but can’t handle the truth
You fools have to nab it or you’ll
throw a dang tantrum like you’re two,
not just a tantrum but two
Yeah dude we all had ‘em, it’s true
but actually too it’s factual you
throw ‘em like Sabathia threw
I may or may not disappoint my listener
but I really did not point my finger
I didn’t say names or the boy’s initials

Chorus:
I am the best mess, man
Even if I’ve gone mental
I’ll roast you like a red tan
You’ll shit yourself like a bedpan
Whatever it was I said can
just make your friend and
you say, ‘I can’t comprehend that
that motherfucker just said that’

*Alex, A-L-E-X, K-L-A-S-H*