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Here are a few options:

1. "When you think you're a superhero but really you're just a human-shaped disaster"
2. "Who needs coordination when you can just flail around and hope for the best?"
3. "Pro tip: if you're going to trip, make sure it's in slow motion for maximum comedic effect"
4. "I'm not clumsy, I'm just... creatively coordinated"
5. "When bae says 'let's take a selfie' but really it's just a trap to capture your worst angle"

Which one do you think fits the vibe of your video?